The one about naggings

Safiin is oddly calm.

ok sure..
i'm a lil pissed
but this time it feels different.
like i could simply block out the feelings
and just hear those words...

my mom..
think she's pms-ing.
she's nagging non stop
cause i went out y'day
and today.
plus the fact that i went to work..
think she misses me thats all la
see la.. damn the hols...
hols = no school
no school = stay at home
stay at home = no income
no income = decreasing savings
decreasing savings = the need to work.
anyways,
i'm home very often.
so she's gotten used to me being at home.
then suddenly i'm working
0830 - 1700hrs
out the freaking entire day
back only at night
so ya.. she misses my presense.

guess thats the 'comforting' thing
i keep telling myself.

oh actually
she's repeating herself
this very moment.

well...
thats ocps for y'all.
at this age...
still trapped.
guess thats the price to pay
for having everything else settled for you.
but..
its not like i have a choice ay.
i wanted an overseas education.
make it on my own
(to a certain extent)
survive the world on my own
(of cause need financial backing from parents la)
but at least everything else..
i can do it myself.
no need to be a burden to them ma...
but noo...
cried...
at the mention of wanting to go overseas.
but now..
thats i've decided to settle for school here
locally
so staying at home..
she make noise oso.
if only there's a cure to ocps.

but i don freaking care..
the12s is soo gonna happen.
i WILL make it happen.
insyaAllah..


anyways..
its kinda irritating la
when whatever that you do..
ppl simply disregard it.
and think the worst of you
all the time.
it makes you feel like crap honestly.
sometimes you think..
if ppl already have
such a preconceived image of you
even though you're not..
you might as well materialise that image right?
cause it can be fun.
and you might actually get it your way.
its like...
ppl said you stole the macbook pro.
but you really didnt.
but no matter wat..
everyone thinks you did.
and treat it as though you did.
don it make you feel that
you really should have just stolen it.
at least be blamed for something you did.
and get the satisfaction of doing it.
oh well...
life...

its ok if noone understands this post.
i'm just ranting.
my main crap outlet.